Monday, November 15, 2010
My husband I have asked to take a much greater roll in this cause I feel as it is his place. He owns me. He has his henchmen so to speak punish me. I don't know. It works for us
I also still see Dave on occasion and well I saw him Friday night, it wasn't a fun session like I normally get it was strictly punishment/ an attitude adjustment I had asked for a few weeks before. I had no idea what was coming. I was literly sick to my stomach. I finally met him in our spot and waited till he arrived.
We spent some time talking and just reevaluating why I have him still around if I now have three tops or doms. Only thing I can say he has been like a brother. Taking no bull shit or anything from me. He has been such a rock in the last five months when my life was going up and down hill. It still seems to be on a roller coaster but right now it is slowing down. It was nice to be able to talk things out and not get in trouble for them. I even wrote him a letter just letting him know how much I appreciated his help in the last few months but I think the rules I have with him are not clearly outlined. So we worked on that
When it came time for the spanking to start. I was fully willing to submit to it cause I knew I deserved it to a degree. I crawled across his lap in his car. A position I am very used to and comfortable in. It is my happy place. He began over my jeans like always, lecturing and spanking quite firmly. I can happily boast I can take beatings and never cry. Except this time. Two minutes into it I started sobbing. Snotty nose, swollen eyes sobbing. He did a few belt swats over my jeans then they came down then out came the hair brush. Still crying he didn't do it hard at all. I left with a red ass from him. Normally I leave with blisters and black bruises. So it was weird.
He held me for awhile telling me he wasn't mad till I calmed down enough to drive home. I left and went home to spend sometime with my family. I can honestly say I feel like I am losing my position with him and it is a weird depressing feeling. But at the same time I feel like i have a fresh start with mike. Le sigh not sure whats gonna come of this. I shall keep my readers updated
Saturday, November 6, 2010
But on one hand I can see where he gets the idea. When I get tired or hungry, I get very pouty or grumpy. Its nothing crazy. I just have always acted like that. Mike (old dom) says that is me just being a brat. Dave (dom #2) has no say he kinda agree's that I act like a child but more bratty then child like.
Its just something that has been bothering me.
I also need help. I am supposed to be living a DD relationship with my husband but it seems to have fallen to the way side. I rarely get put in my place anymore. I mean like this week. I have had such an attitude it has come to the point of begging anyone to take care of it. He just seems to ignore it. I mean I push and push and nothing... This isn't exactly what I signed up for.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
It was so nice to be able to go home to Harford county and actually see some friends and run errands in my old town.
I planned on seeing my spanker friend who I guess we can call him a second dom. Someone I have been seeing since before my husband and I got married.
He has his own set of rules for me. Nothing hard, or that goes against my husbands rules. More so reinforcing Andrews rules. I would almost think of him as an older brother type. So we agreed to meet up for the weekend. I needed a " reminder in my manners" and I wanted a session. So we met at the agreed meeting place. Dunkin donuts. YUM! I for once was early. Go me. Hoped in his truck and went off on some back unpaved roads. Till we went to a spot we used before. He was in a good mood I could tell, which is always good for me.
Once we got there he was like. Lets go hiking. For serious!?!?! I was wearing healed boots. I replied Yes Sir, but really in these shoes? He laughed and was like do I need to carry you? I manged to walk on the stone path and not twist an ankle. The element of being outside was defiantly heating the moment up. I was nervous someone hear or be walking the path. He seemed very chill. We got down to business. He found a log to sit on and I went over the knee and got a nice hand warm up. Thud with sting, I could hear his hand swooshing down. AHHH bliss.
Then we moved on to the "I need to learn manners phase" He had me lean against a tree on the path and stick my ass out a little. By then he already had me remove my leggings and lace panties. I was supposed to get fifty. He started in sets of ten. 1 Sir I will mind my manners, 2 Sir I will mind my manners, 3 Sir I will mind my manners. By ten I couldn't wait for the break it was starting to sting, 20 I just wanted it to be over. He examined my ass. He knew I could take a whole lot more because from him I have and a whole lot harder but didn't want to return me super marked so he cut a deal. Five more hard and fast still counting, then 10 with a switch thingy. I was fine whatever anything but the bathbrush. I got the last five and the words were flying out of my mouth. It fucking hurts!!
The switch... or club. He broke the top off a baby tree it was probably as thick as a mans thumb. It hurt way worse than I was expecting. I just had to count. I think I probably said One Sir.. fuck!! LOL I ended up getting 15 cause when he gave me a break I was stalling before getting back into position. When It was over we took some very hot pics for fetlife and my husband.
It was a blast!!! It was very pretty with the fall leaves and a red ass!
Day two and three I am sporting some lovely black and blue bruises!! :D
Friday, October 29, 2010
Seeing Dave sometime saturday sio I am sure I will have lots of fun kinky stories to tell when I come home and maybe some video or something not sure. I will work on that for you all. The pictures are a definite though.
OK beyond excited! Need to go pack. Love ya'll BEHAVE
Thursday, October 28, 2010
When I got home I think my husband could tell I was grouchy so he made sure his mood was light and fun and gave me cuddles why we ate some really yummy french toast I made for dinner. This stuff is the shit really!! I was for some reason exhausted last night so I forced myself to remain awake till like 10 and went into snuggling up in bed.
Of course nights of all nights I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sleep my phone kept buzzing and popping. Id fall asleep for 10 15 min then a txt come through. It was a vicious cycle for like an hour. I finally looked at my phone told the unimportant people to leave me alone and was scrolling through the massive amounts of txts when one caught my eye. It was from DOM2. Lets call him dave. He asked what was going on. So his I decided to respond to. I basically told him I needed a few min to talk to him and asked if he was busy since I knew he was working at the moment. He said he could txt and if it was gonna need to be a phone conversation it would have to wait till he could call around 1 or 2 am. UMMM I'm exhusted I will take the extra 15 min and do this over txt
So I sat up and proceeded to type. "Im gonna try and make this sound as respectful as possible, I really didn't appreciate being snapped at earlier today. I didn't honest to god know I want allowed to fb you. I knew txt. I'm sure the rule said txt. So Sorry if I was confused I'm sorry. But then you also said to tell you when someone got back to me on fetlife. That's all I was trying to do, was tell you I heard back from someone. Wasn't trying to get in trouble and snapped at. I learned my lesson from the last time"
Seriously his reply : It's all good no worries. I'm just a busy guy.
UGH men ... Pour your heart and soul out and they give you super short responses *rolls eyes*
Either way I'm glad it got cleared up cause I hate the mind set of being in trouble and having it hang over my head. I love the feeling of a belt or paddle on my skin but then when I'm in trouble no thank you. Its all a head game I know. A very weird one at that.
In other news. I go home tomorrow!! I can see mi familia!! See my friends. Renew my drivers license. BLAH!! DMV SUCKS! but Im going home!! I get to see Dave, I made him promise me coffee and a donut since he owes me pancakes still for taking a huge beating awhile ago. I get to have a girls day with my mom and get my nails done and take her out to dinner. Should be a good time
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Anyway today was a going great. Did a little fetlife http://fetlife.com/users/368706 this morning, went to work and had a good morning. Since I am nannying I had to take him to school. Dropped him off came home for my little break in a great mood (cause I'm going home this weekend WOOT!!!) Fell asleep. Then my husband comes home from work. He is on his mids shift which means he is working nights all week and weekend. I understand he is tired. I am tired after work too but when you have to snap at me over something dumb that pisses me off. So before I said anything regretful I walked out of the room to let him sleep. Hopped on the computer and began to facebook and fetlife till my little heart was content and I needed to pick the child up from school. I quickly through in some masturbation in there before dashing off. YUMMY
I know I mentioned in my last post I have a second Dom, which yes my husband is A OK with as long as he remains number 1. Its been going well for us but then he snapped at me. I mean we have a unique relationship. He has a girl friend and stuff so I am not supposed to txt him first. OK I get that and respect that! BUT he asked me to look for more girls for him to spank on fetlife since he is new to it and I asked for a playmate. So I PMed a bunch of them the other night and his exact words were let me know when you get a response. SOOOOOOOOO he was on facebook today and I just sent him a little ;) and he was all "Didn't learn from the last time I told you not to txt or message me first" WELL LA DE DA! The rule was Not to txt you first. This clearly was not a txt message and I was trying to share good news that I heard back from one of the girls. Can we say frustrated!?!?!?
Well that just blew my good mood out the water! I defiantly need to have a sit down with him and clearly straighten things out in the most respectful way I can muster. Well it defiantly wont be tonight cause Im all hot and mad over all the men's grumpy moods... Dumb weather
Monday, October 18, 2010
I have a wonderful husband who takes very good care of me. I like our relationship and we have sort of been working on the vanilla side of things recently. Which means that spanking really isn't there. Nor the control aspect I guess, I just tend to miss it a lot which makes me sad. I mean not saying he lets me do whatever I want or whatever he still keeps me in my place and stuff I just miss the spanking. So I have a friend who I met online who is also into spanking. We met around the same time my husband and I met up.
He has a girl friend and lives a very vanilla life except when he is with me. We probably meet once a month and he gets to live his dom side a little and I get to fill the spanking void so to speak. I defiantly like pain and just pretty lay there taking it. I love when I get to have a session with him cause he makes them thuddy and when my husband spanks me he makes them stingy. I love both but like thuddy more.
I like to have the marks for a few days to look at and remember and just kinda adore. I will post a pic of the spanking I got from my that friend a month ago. I asked for a very hard spanking and thats what I got. A well bruised red ass. I was on cloud nine
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I also didn't realize how much I thrived off of a routine. With me not working I really don't have one. I mean I have chores I normally have to complete by the time he gets home.
My poor husband has found out about my temper quickly, which I do feel bad about but he is quite good at dealing with it. I mean my temper has resulted in broken implements. Something I'm not sure how it happened or what set me off but I grabbed the closest thing to me which happened to be our hairbrush and I threw it. Well I didn't know it but I cracked it right in half. So bye bye brush. What did he find at our handy dandy Walmart... a dumb bath brush! I miss the hair brush so much I'd do anything to have it back. The bath brush hurts way more than anything I have ever experienced. He barely has to swing for me to be begging for it to be over. I think it may be the implement to make me cry. I have yet to ever cry from a spanking. Im sure it feels wonderful but I never have been able too.
Monday, July 19, 2010
we spent a lot of time today buying furniture. My parents are coming down tomorrow to help finish setting things up an to meet him. Just this is all so exciting
Bought our first washer and dryer. Im actually excited to do laundry
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I have explored my interest in the domestic discipline scene, met with some Doms/Tops. Found out more or less what I wanted in a long term relationship.
I managed to do this all why working my ass off at work. Trying my hardest to get a promotion that was promised but never came. I still managed to love my job and the friends I met there. Some of the best friends ever. I mean who goes from work to get wings every monday night. It was awesome that I could have a relationship with these people outside of work. Awesome friends is all I can say.
Things at home were up and down. Fights and then things be fine for a couple weeks. It really got to me emotionally. I tried not to be there a lot. I would work 30 plus hour weeks at work then be busy hanging with friends. If I had to be home Id be up in my room. Only person I'd really talk to would be my 14 year old brother, and occasionally my sister but we would fight a lot too. Either way I knew I couldn't stand to be like this with my family forever.
So that sorta catches us up to the end of June and the beginning of July
My parents left for a two week trip to head to the middle of nowhere Montana, leaving my sister and I at home. We really bonded. Went to the beach for the day. Just had a lot of fun together.
Then the parents came home and our little piece of heaven quickly turned to hell. My mom managed to nit pick the house apart. Managed to wake me up by screaming at me the day after she came home. Later that afternoon, I was steaming. She was yelling at my sister over something and I snapped. I got right in my mothers face and basically told her how it was. She had no right to come home and start nit picking bout how the pots and pans were put away and then had no right to be yelling my sister over what she was yelling at her about. Needless to say she didn't like that and told me to get out.
At the time I was talking to a spanker who lived a few miles from my house and told him what happened. He agreed to meet me before I had to go to work and to talk to me about it.
We both came to the conclusion that I could have handled the situation better and I was disrespectful. (didn't help I was disrespectful to him on the phone on my way to meet him) So he offered quite a spanking that left me bruised and well marked for a week. I agree it was something I needed. So I am very thankful to him for it.
I ended up talking to my parents later. In a lot cooler, calmer manner. They gave me the weekend to find a place to live. We all agreed this wasn't a healthy relationship for us. A dom friend of mine who I went on a date or two with took me in for a few days. Then I took the plunge literally!
I had been talking to another Dom who lived near DC and was in the Navy. I'm a sucker for military guys *swoon* He made an offer awhile back. Marry him and he would take care of me. I know it sounds crazy but I kept his offer in mind. I had no place to go after Wednesday. So I agreed. He picked me up from work Thursday night and I have been here ever since.
We got married today, I became a military wife. Got my ID, and we also got our first house today. Can we say productive? I know it sounds crazy and Im sure you all are like how can you just marry a stranger. Well people did it back in the olden days. It worked then because people managed to work together and to create a marriage that works for them. Thats exactly what we are doing, is creating a Domestic discipline relationship that works for him and I.
I can proudly say we are both very proud of what we have accomplished. We get along very well. Have so much fun together. He knows how to handle me and not be to harsh about it. I can proudly say I am falling in love with my husband.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
So yea in case you hadn't seen then previous post. I did manage to get myself in trouble. I took my attitude from my family an unleashed it on him. I was whiny and pouty all weekend and used being sick as an excuse. I'm honestly surprised it took till Sunday night and I didn't get in trouble sooner. Saturday in my opinion was way worse. I knew when I was jumping into this that it was something I wanted to work on and he had agreed to help.So props to Mike for taking on the challenge of a life time and having no coach through out this journey telling him wax on wax off. I'm sorry for the lame jokes its 1:15 am and I'm getting tired. He decided to give me one more chance. Which I'm forever grateful. I have tired to keep my attitude in check but I'm not sure I really succeed today though. More on that later.
The last 2 days have been feeling the waters I suppose. Laying down the law I guess we could call it. Feeling out rules that would be good for us as a couple. Practical in our everyday lives, nothing extreme, but still enough its going to take getting used to. Nothings been pushed on me its all been agreed on. (I'm beginning to think this post is gonna be so long)Basically our rules are as follows and they all have consequences and as I found out last night spanking wont be the only one.
- No cursing
- No lying will be tolerated, ever
- Attitude needs to be in check (I don't know how to word this, Mike help)
- A set limit will be decided before hand if I want to go shopping I need to stick to that limit and if I need to go over that limit I have to get permission first ($180 shoes apparently don't get the go head trust me I tried but more on that later)
- (I'm totally guessing on this one) Seek permission if I want to do something, ie go for coffee. ( I have so far only because in my book it shows respect)
- Respect others
- Spankings, Right now using just hand, brush and a belt. I'm sure we don't need to add anymore.
- Groundings, Lose of privileges such as phone, Internet :(, going out.
- Lines , repeatedly writing sentences anywhere from 50 to 500. Either to give to when I see him or to do when with him. When with him they have to be done sitting on the floor facing away from the TV, I can't do anything till there done either. Plus my phone will be taken away so it isn't an added distraction. (could be added with another punishment or a punishment within itself)
- Corner time, given after spankings as a time out and time of reflection. No rubbing allowed.
- Washing my mouth out (cursing), could also included having hot pepper or Tabasco sauce placed on my tongue. Possibly made to eat a Jalapeno pepper.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Well from the previous run on sentence, can you tell I know have a new Dom. mmmhmm I is very happy. Very happy is me. :)
Our short little relationship has been fun, and I exactly what I want. We had a conversation about it yesterday on how it would be nice because we could be ourselves with each other and not have to hide one part of ourself. So slowly we are going into this. I think its pretty much come natural thus far. (Any thoughts babe? since I know your reading this.)
Pretty much rules come up as they go. Guys he actually thinks his rules out so there arn't loop holes. How lame is that. How else am I supposed to find away around them?? If you got ideas please share them.
So fair though really haven't been issues. Ok maybe one tiny one. I swear!! Ok its probably gonna be one of our main issues and I was upfront about it and Im pretty sure he guessed it. But its my attitude/respect (him along with others) surprise surprise. Saturday apparently I took my attitude with my mother and sister and it carried over to him. I will admit he gave plenty of warning subtle and not. So I guess I really didn't have a reason to be all pissy with him. So I do apologize for that again. So now I'm on thin ice he said and attitude wont be tolerated at all. Point blank. Almost got myself in trouble at work today cause I was whining a lot. (Ok I admit it, it was a lot of whining.) And to clarify thats with him not anyone at work, we txt a lot. YAY unlimited texting. One day I will have to tell y'all bout my $1000 dollar cell bill. He has been very patient with me. I will admit he has given me more chances then I deserve. I wont even make excuses *coughimsickcough*
Ok now I have to address embarrassing part. He says if my attitude continues then Im getting punished. Punishments from him which we discussed and I guess they could be worse are pretty much spankings and groundings or both if your really dead. Groundings I most likely would hate a heck of a lot more because I would go insane. especially if he was to take away like my computer privileges. Cause I luvs my computer. We are like BFFS!!! But for the attitude Im told Im gonna be spanked and not gonna like it one bit. Then shoved in the damn corner.I hate corners there dumb and boring and smell funny. Spiders normally preside there ICK!
PS: Oh yea so on the plus side we are betting in the Superbowl. Loser has to take a spanking. Two words. GO SAINTS!! Im calling it now Colts vs. Saints. Saints win. Just gotta get past this over time game and his precious Vikings and there old ass quarter back can go away
PPS: He wont let me go to the mall tomorrow cause my rooms not clean *pout* and it has to be done like I said before by 4 and it has to be done right which means no shoving it in the closet. So now I cant go shopping.
PPS: SAINTS WIN!!! IN OVER TIME! 2 WEEKS ITS SUPERBOWL SUNDAY AND MY SAINTS ARE GONNA BEAT SOME COLTS ASS!!! oh yea babes happy birthday 2 weeks early.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
She adds to my stress level enough that she drives me to smoke a cigarette. Its pretty bad. Then she wonders why I smoke. Hmmm Support would be nice from her once in awhile. I dont care if you dont like what Im doing with my life, maybe if I had some support it be different.
I know this was totally random I just needed to vent
Friday, January 22, 2010
In other news Im sick as a dog. I have the worstest cold ever. Ok maybe not worstest cold every. Just It seriously sucks. Im all congested and can't breathe. I feel like a fish out of water. Gasping for air. Im sucking water down too. Not any fun. But Im pushing myself to go out tonight, because I desperately needing to see this friend. We have a lot to discuss. I want to move badly down south, kinda in haste made that declaration and she wants to talk about it plus something about her ex boy friend getting another girl pregnant. I know, hot juicy stuff right. So were going to the store and getting dinner. Nothing exciting. I already know Im calling out of work sick tomorrow because I was supposed to go drinking with some friends but I don't even feel well enough to do that yet.
Remember I said I met someone on fetlife. Well if i didn't I know have. He seems like a great guy, funny yet can be serious when needed. Caring all the important things. We will see though, Im done with rushing relationships. He to would like to take it slow. Plus Im not jumping into meeting someone i met online. Ect. I mean we have fun when we IM each other but thats about it. As far as we have taken the relationship. I know we both are hesitant so thats a good thing in its own way.
I haven't heard from the other guy so Im going to say that its not gonna happen plus I like that the other guy is local.
Now about my statement about moving. Im getting so annoyed with my parents Im ready for a change. I want to basically start over again. So I called a friend down south who I planned on visiting anyway in April and was like look if I come down I doubt I will be coming back home. So now its a toss up. Do I stay here an peruse a relationship or do I start my life over. Its truly a cross roads moment
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Anyway I joined Fet life due to a friends suggestion and met this guy last night. I think we mesh well. We were joking last night that we hadn't grown annoyed of the other yet. We talked from 10 pm to like 430 am. It was a nice conversation and I hope we continue to talk.
Also talking with an old Dom of mine and he would like something to happen between us but im taking it slow.
I basically decided that Im gonna find someone who makes me happy in both the Dom/sub/Master/slave stuff as well as the BF/GF dept.
I'll eventually find someone. Also Im thinking of moving south because Im done with the state im in now. Also so done with parents.
Yep that sums up the last week or so. Im headed to work for a few and I plan on writing an in depth post later tonight.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Behind door number one we have * doors open* "Stacy the sub/slave" With a Master/Dom who keeps her centered and focused on him. Keeping her settled and yet still having a fun time with her. Being both a wonderful boyfriend/ husband while meeting her desire as a Dom/Master.
Door 2~ Would be the door where I got along with my parents. I drive an awesome truck or jeep. I have a wonderful devoted boyfriend whom Im going to marry. My life is finally on a track it should be. but I have none of the kink because I am to scared to admit it to the one I love because I am afraid he will think Im a freak
( I must admit this is really hard to actually write out)
This is why I like the Dom stuff cause I never had to make these decisions he always did. Im scared shitless
im going to go cry more
Tow truck~ 138
new tire and rim ~ 100
Rotor ~ 38
lug nuts~ 2
some screwy thing ~ 4
somehow owed my uncle 120
that = EXPENSIVE
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Right now I don't even care if its Dom/sub or vanilla :( I hate feeling like this. So empty
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
*after asking why they weren't talking*
Him: Because I got annoyed with her. because she was flirting with me but not following through, everytime she wasn't with Will.
Me: where u flirting back
Him: So I told her I was keeping my distance cause I couldn't trust her.
Me: well were you
Me: Even when we were considered together? and when you knew I was trying to get you back. AND she knew it too?
Me: Oh ( i then signed off and dont really want to talk to either of them again)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
On the relationship front: Ex and I have spoken on Aim shortly for the last few days. I got him to add up all my hours for me. and roughly figure out how much my check will be. He even deducted the taxes for me. I WUVS his math skills. Its funny. We aren't necessarily in a relationship but I find myself living by the rules we once had when I talk to him. Now for the manager guy. I for some reason think he is mad at me or something cause at work today he was in a really shitty mood. I stayed away from him as much as possible and didn't even try and flirt. I got all pretty for nothing. And Im still horny as ever.
I decided I only like my dad in my family. Well my uncle and my dad. I will never apparently get along with my mom. I just can't. I don't even try anymore. Im like a walking attitude with her anymore. Im so ready to buy a car and rent an apartment so I can have boys over and be me.
I cant be me with my parents watching my every move.
When will it all become clear on what to do :( Everything is all hazy