Well I don't even know where to begin with this post. Mike and I finally had a session together after almost a year of planning and talking we finally did it. It was nice and I have allowed him to take that roll for me of being dominate. I need it
My husband I have asked to take a much greater roll in this cause I feel as it is his place. He owns me. He has his henchmen so to speak punish me. I don't know. It works for us
I also still see Dave on occasion and well I saw him Friday night, it wasn't a fun session like I normally get it was strictly punishment/ an attitude adjustment I had asked for a few weeks before. I had no idea what was coming. I was literly sick to my stomach. I finally met him in our spot and waited till he arrived.
We spent some time talking and just reevaluating why I have him still around if I now have three tops or doms. Only thing I can say he has been like a brother. Taking no bull shit or anything from me. He has been such a rock in the last five months when my life was going up and down hill. It still seems to be on a roller coaster but right now it is slowing down. It was nice to be able to talk things out and not get in trouble for them. I even wrote him a letter just letting him know how much I appreciated his help in the last few months but I think the rules I have with him are not clearly outlined. So we worked on that
When it came time for the spanking to start. I was fully willing to submit to it cause I knew I deserved it to a degree. I crawled across his lap in his car. A position I am very used to and comfortable in. It is my happy place. He began over my jeans like always, lecturing and spanking quite firmly. I can happily boast I can take beatings and never cry. Except this time. Two minutes into it I started sobbing. Snotty nose, swollen eyes sobbing. He did a few belt swats over my jeans then they came down then out came the hair brush. Still crying he didn't do it hard at all. I left with a red ass from him. Normally I leave with blisters and black bruises. So it was weird.
He held me for awhile telling me he wasn't mad till I calmed down enough to drive home. I left and went home to spend sometime with my family. I can honestly say I feel like I am losing my position with him and it is a weird depressing feeling. But at the same time I feel like i have a fresh start with mike. Le sigh not sure whats gonna come of this. I shall keep my readers updated
Monday, November 15, 2010
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Tears flowing are not always a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteI can see where it has left you confused and you have the right.
Follow the head, and let it guide you.
I am in a crossroads now and really do not know where it is leading. Sad, but has to be done..
I wish he would have kept going. I needed that release I don't get very often. I kept wanting a dom and now am blessed with three lovely ones. I just hope it all falls in place soon.
ReplyDeletehi i just found your blog and i look forward to reading through it. Gosh you are in a bit of a dilema, i dont know how you do it having 3 Doms, each with their own wants. Do take time for yourself though to sort things out in your own head.
ReplyDeleteHope you dont mind but i have linked to your blog.
blossom
Ohh thank you . I love new readers it gives me incentive to actually write posts. So welcome!
ReplyDelete