Thursday, February 25, 2010

Same old same old *sigh*

"This week you have been fairly mouthy your attitude was improving but then it seemed as if you got comfortable and started pushing limits again thinking that you were allowed to get away with things when you knew before hand that you werent, such as going to bed when you are told to. i hope that your mouth and attitude improves to avoide any punishments you will undoubtly earn as a result."

I know this post is late... well technically its kinda early cause its this weeks post. Either way Id like to note that last week was a good week. No trouble whatsoever. I was way to lazy to post about it for some reason. So now I had to post early because I didn't want you all to think I died, and because I was told to. Help this blog has been kidnapped.

Nothing much has happened. I been working. Went shopping and am broke again. Umm his post sums everything up. I kinda get in this comfort zone where I guess im to comfortable with him,act as his equal not his sub. Which Im working on remembering

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Tantrums get you know where.

"You had a major incident this week, more then i have seen from you before. You started the week off better because you were already in trouble but then you informed me about how irresponsible you had been not paying your cell phone bill. Then when you were informed you would be in trouble you gave me push back but eventually accepted it, however, when the punishment was told to you, you mocked it and then as I ramped it up since you thought little of it you continued to argue and negotiate and then after that threw a full blown tantrum like a little girl and pouted and whined which is not acceptable and you know it so that is why you are in more trouble this week on top of what you were already in trouble for." ~ Mike

Bad week! More crappy snow, leaving me locked in the house with my mother, sister, and brothers, My mothers best friend, her three kids, and my 13 year old brothers best friend. Which equaled a really full loud house. Lots of shoveling and me doing incredibly dumb stuff... i.e. jumping off my 15- 20 foot high deck into the 50 plus inches of snow.

Am I happy about this weeks behavior review, absolutely not! Im really embarrassed. Im embarrassed at how I literally lowered myself to acting like a 5 year old who didn't get their way. Hmmm maybe because I didn't get my way. I was however honest which he forgot to mention and told him my phone got turned off. He failed to mention the HONESTY portion. I did get them to turn it back on though. He forgot to mention that too.

I was bad and was 2 months behind on my bill. I really thought I was only one month. SWEAR. But it does explain why it was 235 $. So we agreed we would discuss it before going to bed that night and come up with a suitable punishment. Not like I wanted to add on but seriously I knew arguing wasn't getting me anywhere. He wasn't even mad at me. Just disappointed.

So when the time came to talk about it. I was good with the punishment, which happened to be 100 lines saying I'd pay my bills or get spanked. 'Cept in all honesty I thought it was the dumbest punishment ever. I very vocally let him know this, which quickly doubled the punishment. I then went into full panic mode. I flipped. I did everything short of kicking and screaming and had he been in a hearing range I probably would have. I lied I defiantly through something in my room. I was defiant told him directly No I wasn't doing 100 let alone 200. Attitude quickly became present and he told me I probably should go to bed, to which I responded to maybe I would and didn't need his permission to go to bed. I slammed my computer shut. I would like to make note. He remained so calm during my temper tantrum. He never once yelled or anything. I fully expected to get a txt saying we would talk about it in the morning. Nope not a thing.

I woke up the next morning still mad. Wasn't going to say anything to him, wasn't going to apologize until someone else showed me the errors of my way. Thanks Sephani. He txted later and all I could do was say sorry. He said we would be having a long discussion later about my behavior. Which ended up being a 20 min. discussion on how he wasn't going to put up with it anymore. How I embarrassed myself with my tantrum. I didn't say a word. It wasn't my place. My place was to listen and only answer with Yes Sir/No Sir, when I was asked a direct question.I defiantly wasn't about to step out of line.

Since my punishment I still haven't served was for being rude and disrespectful and I repeated that offense again two fold he would just add to that punishment. So now I have those 100 lines I argued about, a more severe spanking, longer corner time. Both sets of lines are due friday when I see him. The spanking and corner will happen at a later time.

Not looking forward to any of this.

Sunday, February 7, 2010



THEY CRUSHED THE COLTS!!! 3o fucking 1 to 17!!!!

THEY WON!!!! I WON!!!!!!

Seriously though I won the bet with Mike. I called it weeks ago! I WON!! Little me won. Its amazing. He is sulking and pouting because HEEEEEE lost.

Now his butt gets to pay up for once. Thats right I get to spank him!!! When it happens it will def. be a tale to tell.

Luv ya baby <3


Guess who is 25 today?.......... not me! Im not old yet. Im still and always will be the baby. :)

Happy birthday Babes!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Last Straw

"You started off by having a good week you were nice and were making sure to be responsible as well as obeying our rules. However, as the week progressed your attitude started getting the best of you, I asked you to stop you continued to give more attitude back even going as far as being disrespectful to me by saying some pretty nasty thing and it was then that I had finally had enough and decided that you just could not stop and needed to be punished for you attitude and disrespect."

I really messed up this week. I disappointed him, I think I even made him mad to a point. I seriously am mad at myself as well for getting in trouble. I was already in trouble to a degree with my language. It was a really busy day at work and I was getting mad and frustrated. Every time the phone rang I wanted to slam it down. Hard to answer phones and deal with frustrated rushing customers. And everyone of them flocked to the register at once. There like chickens. So by the time I was done ringing I was already short fuse about to blow. He said something just teasing and I blew. Attitude kicked in instantly. Which he told me to cut it out and I defiantly responded with no and to go die. Somewhere else I threw in there that I hated him. I really don't I swear. Baby I don't hate you!!! It was bad enough he had to tell me to apologize and normally I'm pretty good about knowing when I crossed the line. I guess thursday night my attitude was so bad I didn't want to admit it or even say sorry. I mean I did to avoid trouble, which I found out when I got home I couldn't avoid. Cause as soon as I was home I was sentenced. Sentence is 100 lines reading "I will not be disrespectful or I will be punished." & a hand spanking on the bare until he thinks its enough and Im sorry. Plus I need to still serve my cursing sentence. In good news though I did my lines last night because I was bored and going stir crazy. So 2 left. Not looking for the last two at all and I just want them over with. Now if the weather would corporate I could get them over with.

Blizzard 2010

Ok seriously I hate snow. Yea a couple of inches is pretty but thats about it. We don't have a couple of inches we have feet. The weather men before hand wouldn't even call an amount all they would say was " A measurable (at this time) of snow is headed for your area" Ok that amount now is pushing 3 feet. Its cold and wet and cold and I HATE SNOW!!!!!!!!! ugh now that we have cleared that up. I will post a picture of the snow drifts later. Only good thing about the snow is it maybe sledding tonight. Keep my dad and your uncle in your thoughts as they are plowing the snow. Left yesterday and now are home for a few hours sleep before heading back out. With the sounds of things they will be done plowing tuesday. Right in time for storm number 2 to hit. Which sounds smaller but 6 inches on top of all this. Im gonna sob. I just want it to stop. It ruined my plans so I am a very bitter person.

Picture one: Our trampoline Is bout 3 or more feet of the ground the snow just misses the top
Picture two is my leg the snow is above my knee, you can't tell with the snow pants on but its deep.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thank you


I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for calmly directing me. Thank you for not living a double standard, you follow the same rules given to me to a degree. Thank you for taking the time to work with me. You knew my problem areas before we decided to embark upon this journey. Thank you for punishing me when I need it. Thank you for second chances. Thank you for deciding I'm worth trying to live this lifestyle with.

All in all

Thank you