Monday, May 24, 2010

Frustrated beyond compare

Well I guess this is a long story so this is a warning if u don't wanna read click the little x in the top right hand corner

I put four months maybe more into a relationship with someone. Learning roles, making mistakes and learning from them. He was busy with school I was busy with work but we still managed to spend time together. Finals rolled around for him this last week and since I sucked at behaving during midterms I vowed I would behave this time around if it killed me. I did too I was proud of myself. Friday he graduated and I was soooo proud of him. He worked his ass off and finally got a degree. Then I found out something which pissed me off. Now note Im not really a clingy person but I do like talking to that person a lot, so we would send texts back and forth throughout the day, like I said for lots of months. We were talking on friday night on how he just wanted to relax this weekend and no drama and shit which I agreed he deserved. I later made a comment on how I had been good the last few weeks and he was like yes you have and to make it better I have been ignoring you. WTF seriously. That hurt bad. I cant even put into words how that kinda felt like a knife to the heart. So I just stopped talking to him that day and really haven't heard from him. I don't know what I should do or say.

I really miss my ex too and I have realized this over the last few months. Every time he pops online I just kinda sigh. So I sucked it up and decided to IM him one day. We had a normal conversation. I kinda figured if He wanted me back or missed me we would continue talking. The next day he pops up. We been talking. admit we miss each other, admit we miss the dynamic we had. Then he started acting weird, I still cant put my finger on why, but trust me its annoying

all in all Im very much considering giving up this life style and being "normal" I cant find one man to stick by me and have a relationship with. They seem to get what they want and disappear. My emotions cant take much anymore.