Saturday, January 9, 2010

Split personalities?

In trying to find myself I have come across different sides of myself and I can't seem to choose which one and which path to take. It all seems so hazy. I just feel like I need to choose one and stick with it but then again they depend on things. So Im here at like a cross roads and because I don't have certain things I can't move on. Its like a video game or something. So I will make it like a game show and my readers can maybe help me decide which "door to choose"

Behind door number one we have * doors open* "Stacy the sub/slave" With a Master/Dom who keeps her centered and focused on him. Keeping her settled and yet still having a fun time with her. Being both a wonderful boyfriend/ husband while meeting her desire as a Dom/Master.

Door 2~ Would be the door where I got along with my parents. I drive an awesome truck or jeep. I have a wonderful devoted boyfriend whom Im going to marry. My life is finally on a track it should be. but I have none of the kink because I am to scared to admit it to the one I love because I am afraid he will think Im a freak

( I must admit this is really hard to actually write out)

This is why I like the Dom stuff cause I never had to make these decisions he always did. Im scared shitless
im going to go cry more

1 comment:

  1. The thing is... you really have to figure out what it is you really want. Let's say you get married to the boyfriend and things are great at first... but the submissive needs are still there? How long do you think the relationship will last when you begin to resent him because you feel you can't be yourself with him? That attitude nearly destroyed my marriage.

    Seriously... your best bet is to be honest with yourself and then be honest with him. If he can't accept you for who you are, then is it really worth a lifetime commitment? Especially if you're just doing it to "settle" and make your parents happy because you don't think you can do any better.

    Don't make decisions in life based on what you think other people want for you. And don't make them based on fear of the future. You'll end up regretting it.