Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Well I don't even know anymore. Im so confused. I miss him a lot even though he cheated on me. Maybe I don't miss him so much as I do the relationship dynamic. I spent yesterday and today reading a lot of our old emails and IM conversations. I also folded and sent him an IM today saying " I miss our freaking relationship" to which I got no response. I guess its truly over and I feel like he has wanted it for awhile but wasn't man enough to end it so he let it fade. Now I miss the companionship. I haven't talked to my manager in a few days either, I don't know what is up with that since we used to text a lot. Im lonely. I miss snuggling after being punished and knowing I was forgiven . I seriously miss the accountability. I miss freaking having a boy friend.
Right now I don't even care if its Dom/sub or vanilla :( I hate feeling like this. So empty

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