My parents seem to be on my case about everything. Driving me up the wall, that is if I don't bang my head into the wall first. For serious, I'm nearly 21. I can handle it. Just get out of my business.
Things with Mike are good. I get frustrated with myself mostly. I try and be good and still end up fucking something up EVERY DAMN TIME! Attitude freaking gets the best of me. I feel like he isn't understanding my side of anything. He is stressing over midterms. I apparently argue ever subject. I understand schools important. I guess I feel pushed to the side. Im frustrated as hell. I got so much mounting up. Lines to do, spankings to get. I want it over. I want a clean slate. Which I feel like I will never get. It keeps getting pushed back.
We finally had one good fight. That felt good I felt better after. But I feel another one mounting up and its hard to fight when HE wont fight back. Which in turn, frustrates me. I don't know how to feel better. I cant exactly talk to him about it because he will just tell me to shush. PLUS I don't want to add to his stress level. Guess I'll lay low and not really talk to him till Wednesday.
Understand the "Don't Know How to Feel Better" feeling and the "not wanting to add to His stess" feeling and the "pushed to the side at the moment" feeling and I remind myself daily that patience is a virtue, of which I personally have none, lol.
ReplyDeleteOh I know I have none! He knows I have none. Thus starts a vicious cycle of who will out last who. I promise a new post probably this week. He wants to have a long long talk wend. after mid terms *shudder* so I'll be made to post then or thursday
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