I was given some advice by Spirited on trying to figure out myself before I try and figure out the males. So the last few days I have been trying to figure it out and gosh darn it, its not easy!!
I have been so into finding a dommy type guy for the past 3 years that I haven't taken the time to find myself. I know I love serving guys. I get in the weak in the knees when guys use a tone of voice thats a little harsh. Barking orders. Maybe thats why I like my manager at work because he is a natural leader. I have very strong leadership skills as well and if you were to talk to my family and friends I don't think they would see me as the sub type.
I don't know where my attraction to those type of men came from. All I know is that their there. I have to ask myself a lot if I could even settle for a vanilla relationship? I don't know that answer. I think I could in the beginning but I would get bored very easy.
My manager and I get along well. Our head managers are starting to have us close together because we make a good team. I mean I do all the cashiering and he is able to start recovering the store. Last night there were four tills that needed counted and set up for the next day. Now I just started working there like right before thanksgiving. I offered to count my own till (which is all Im supposed to do) and the manager till that was up there for the busy moments. He agreed quickly that we could split the work load. so I did the manager till and my own. That way he wasn't there until like 2 am doing tills and I got an hour overtime in. ($$$$) We go to leave together and he was thankful for my help. *BEAMS* We still ended up talking till 2 am via txt messaging. I will see him tomorrow for a few hours but we wont be closing together.
I just really like feeling wanted ya know. I never really got that feeling with the ex because he was far away. I dont even know if its a good idea to pursue something with the work guy because we work together. I also have this mad feeling to have sex. Masturbation isnt cutting it anymore. I need filled. ya know? does anyone think Im being dumb here or what. Please I need advice.
Stacie is very confused right now
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Just go with the flow... don't try and think too far ahead you know? I'll admit that I have a tendency to do the same thing, but it always leads to hurt feelings. Just enjoy life as it comes.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah... learning about yourself is probably the hardest thing you'll do, but also the most rewarding. And it won't happen over night. It's something that takes years and years... in fact, I don't think it ever really stops.
And no... you're not being dumb... you're being human... a human with needs. Just don't let those needs override your reason. That'll just lead to trouble.
Sounds to me like things are developing nicely with the manager guy... just don't try to push things. Have you spoken to him about your feelings at all?
Oh and do you live in an area where you can get involved in the local scene? Maybe if you start attending some munches/play parties you can start meeting others... subs and Doms... maybe you can meet someone you can play with... no strings attached... so that your needs will be met while you figure things out. No harm in giving that a shot.
spirited