Sunday, February 27, 2011

wish you understood

(Letter to my husband that he will never read)

I wish you understood that I'm hurt that you spend 90% of your free time playing video games
I wish you understood that your my best friend
I wish you understood that making friends is hard for me when I know I'm gonna turn around and leave eventually
I wish you understood that I need to go home. It's what makes me keep my sanity
I wish you understood that I feel like your shutting me out
I wish you understood that I need to be held and resured
I wish you understood that I feel like our marriage is falling apart
I wish you understand that I need beat more
I wish you understand that the reason I act up/ out is its the only way I get attention
I wish you understand that when I try to explain any of this to you, you saying dork means to me you don't care
I wish you would understand that I love you
I wish you would just understand that I want sex and need sex and not having sex can't be healthy.
I wish you could understand the restraint I'm using from walking out and just leaving for the weekend.
I wish you understood the restraint I'm using from not throwing the computer monitor out the window and ripping the internet out of the wall.
I wish you would seriously sit down and talk to me about this. It isn't my job to fix I told you what was wrong now please come up with a solution
I wish you understood I'm sick of being the only one trying

3 comments:

  1. My heart is with you. I can only partially understand the pain you are going through. I pray things improve for you.

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  2. I don't know you or your situation, but I feel a deep sense of sorrow and fustration in this piece. Some times it is more difficult to share your needs and get rejected by the one you love than it is to not share at all. I hope you find your little piece of happiness somewhere out there. *Hugs*
    Sarah

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  3. I hope that you figure out a way to get him to understand.
    Good luck. Hope it gets better.

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